cant figure myself out ..................
i should be the happiest person in the world but this depression im stuck with find its way to ruin my day :( i know nothings wrong i love my life now im not rich or famous like i planned haha but im in a good place in my life and its like i cant figure out y i cant just shake this stupid feeling it consumes me i tried the zombie pills the dr prescribs when u ask for help and havin two zombies dont mix with feeling like a zombie its not fair to them and i tried exercising blah i tried talking to shrinks! argh! nothing seems to work. i write poetry it seems to help just a little i even think happy thoughts well as happy as i can! maybe im just doomed dont get me wrong i have my good days too ill wakeup smile and feel good then bam! it hts me its like something keeps me from just living my life n loving it im just trying to figure myself out i dont want to be one of those people who take life for granite and realize it when its to late! hmmmmm and it also doesnt help when my anxiety attacks happen so unexpectly ugh i hate that feeling aswell man im messed up! my goal is to find a way to stop this maddness inside of me and snap out of it in the mean time im gonna listen to some depressed mode and morrissey n drink my coffee ................
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